Purpose: 4 Strategies to Realign with Purpose

Have you ever felt like you were not living life true to yourself? 

You don’t know what your purpose is? 

Maybe you felt a sense of purpose but over time lost the feeling?

You seem to accomplish a lot of things and feel really busy but don’t feel a level of fulfillment?

 Many people feel like this and I have too…

For many years I have been incredibly busy doing many things.  At an early age I felt my calling and purpose was to join the Army and I did that right out of high school.  Over time, as I approached the later half of my career I started to feel more and more unfulfilled.   As a Soldier, I went up the enlisted ranks from E-1 Private to E-7.  I attended some tough schools, had top ratings.  I went to OCS, honor graduate, went to EBOLC and earned other top leadership awards.  I showed up day after day doing difficult assignments and received numerous awards and top ratings.   I completed an MBA with honors, a Master of Engineering in Geological Engineering from a top school, yet still felt empty and unfulfilled.  My marriage was in ruins.  On the outside I played a character and did this very well but my I felt I was fulfilling an obligation and doing it well but I felt empty inside and found ways to numb myself with alcohol, excessive video games and other distractions.    Without hope for the future suicide ideation began to creep in.  I knew this was not an option and realized that radical change requires radical change.  I deep dived into personal development and over time I found my true purpose and calling in life beyond the Army.

 What is purpose?  Purpose is the reason something exists, an intended end; aim or goal.  Purpose creates meaning, offers a sense of direction and helps guide our paths, behavior and our goals when applied to our lives.  It is important to have a purpose statement, as this serves as a guide in everything you do.  It will help you make decisions, identify goals, and enable you to move toward who you want to become.   What is your purpose statement?  Do you have one? 

 My purpose statement:  I instruct and inspire people to live an adventurous, disciplined, and more purposeful life. 

 If you don’t have a sense of purpose how do you find it?  Do you know someone who is lost or may not feel like they have purpose?

 When someone doesn’t feel they are living their purpose they struggle to feel happiness. Often times, many people are high achiever who are able to crush goals and objectives. They have dreams and aspirations but they still don’t feel a sense of purpose and being alive.  Sometimes people are living in their past, defined by something traumatic that happened to them.  Some people are living a life of reaction and obligation to other people.  The bottom line is that a person without purpose is not living a life in congruency with who they are, or in a deep level of connection and depth. 

 Humans want to live a life of mastering and developing skills, have a sense of contribution, add value, and ultimately shape the world in a positive way. We want a feeling of being fulfilled, have a sense of great wellbeing, feel well connected, proud of ourselves, and have a sense of making a difference in the world.  Life should feel extraordinary. 

So, how does someone reconnect to their purpose?  If you do not feel a sense of purpose you must first recognize that you are not living your authentic life and our out of alignment with who you are.  So how do you realign?  First you must determine what we need to stop doing.  What are the things in your life that you are doing that are obligations and tasks for other people that do not bring you fulfillment.  Once you identify these things and stop doing them, you stop living a life by other peoples design.

 When you live a life of obligation and reaction you are living someone else’s design for you and reacting to their needs wants and desires instead of your own. You must identify and reconnect with the truth of who you are which include your passions, intentions, desires, and how to create and serve others. The truth is, so many people are faking it. They fake who they are and creating a perception of themselves on social media or in public. They are not being true to themselves and are performing vs being their true selves. You will not be able to connect to purpose unless you do what you are designed to do.  We are caged by other people’s expectations and false obligations. Most people go to work for a paycheck and work all day at a 9-5 out of obligation, living an unfulfilled day.

 Some people feel guilty when their work feels more like play or it’s a task that seems easy. This is a good thing!  They clock out and then begin to live who they are. The hunt for purpose beings with hunt for personal truths.

 You will not be in alignment until you know the truth of who you are.

 What do you want at this stage in life? 

What are you really interested in, excited about, and passionate about? What gets you excited to get out of bed?  What is something that makes you skip meals or going to the bathroom? What did you love to do as a kid?  Do you still do any of those things?

 Here are 4 strategies to help you find your purpose:

 1. Realign to the core truth of who you are.  You must realign with the truth of who you are as a person and quit faking and forcing things that are not truthful to who you are as a person. You are not going to stumble into purpose.  You are not going to walk into the street and be run over by the purpose truck. You are not going to achieve something and it is going to make you feel purpose.  Many people have achieved many great things in life.  A degree, a title, an object like nice house.   These things are objectives.  Despite their accomplishments these people still don’t feel purpose.   You can achieve an objective or goal but not feel purpose.    How does this happen? 

 Many people are able to get things done and achieve things effectively.  Achievement is not the problem.   Alignment is.  Alignment is being in tune with the truth of who you.  Not doing busy work but your life’s work.  

2.  Fulfill aspirations the 3 human aspirations: Being, Relating, and Creation.

Being Aspiration: being a vibrant, healthy person of character, we are proud of.   Do you have the energy level to be vibrant and healthy and are you living with character and values?

 Relating Aspiration: This is your connection to others.  Being a part of a community, how you relate to others, and how you feel cared for.  Are you connecting and relating with people in a meaningful way?

 Creation Aspiration: The drive for contribution, to do your art, to build things. This include creating a mission or a movement, or legacy.  Are you creating things that matter to you?

Fulfill aspirations of your being, your energy and character.  Connect with others in a meaningful way and create things you are proud of.

 3. Adopt the role model mindset. When you are a role model you are activating your potential. If you want to create purpose in your life, you must adopt the role model mindset.  People who do not activate their potential will not feel purpose. If you have great distance between daily reality and activated potential is misery. The more misery you have the further you are away from your purpose. People who don’t activate potential in their life do not feel pride or purpose.   Your daily actions must be leading you down the past toward your purpose.   The energy of your being, how you are relating, and what you are creating each must be leading you down a path to your purpose, end game, destiny, or legacy.   Your daily habits must activate your potential daily.  It cannot be a once a year activity like a New Year’s resolution.  You can’t just think about it, you must activate it daily. When you activate your potential on a consistent basis you will feel differently.  When you adopt a role model mindset you begin to know that everyone around you is watching you and it holds you to a higher standard.  When you desire to be a role model for others, it puts you in a positing of service in life. When you serve and share your authentic self you will motive and inspire others to do the same.  When you serve you serve a purpose.

 4. Create meaningful moments in your life.  We are totally consumed by all the tasks, distractions of social media and email, all the “to do’s” on the “to do” list.. Often times, the whole day goes by and you didn’t FEEL IT. People go through the day, accomplishing all the tasks, doing many things and at night when they lay down they feel empty still.  They didn’t FEEL the moments of the day.  How many times have you went to bed and didn’t feel the moments of the day? Too many days unfelt leads to a disconnect with purpose.   We must create the patterns, routines, and habits to feel meaningful moments. Take moments throughout the day and slow down time…. When you hug your kids as they run out the door, don’t give them a quick meaningless embrace.  Give them a big hug and tell them you love them.  That you are proud of them.    When you are running out the door for work and you kiss your significant other…. Plant that kiss and squeeze them.  Make that an intentional moment.  FEEL THAT MOMENT!!! We are always moving on to the next thing and not feeling the moment because we aren’t present in the moment.  When we are disconnected from meaning in the present moment we are disconnected from purpose.

 Just to recap:

Realign to the core truth of who you are and quit faking and forcing things that are not truthful to who you are as a person. Fulfill aspirations of your being, your energy and character. 

 Connect with others in a meaningful way and create things you are proud of.

Adopt the role model mindset-  When you are a role model you are activating your potential.

Make purpose by creating meaningful moments that make you feel the day.

 Challenge:   What is your purpose statement?

 If you struggle with finding your purpose, if you don’t have a purpose statement, if you are really busy but feel empty… Reach out to me and let’s have a strategy session to get realigned with your purpose. 

I hope this serves you well.

 -J

 P.S. DO HARD THINGS! 

P.S.S. Do them over and over until they become easy.