When You Feel Horrible: 5 Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day.

Have you ever had a bad day and just wanted to restart? Have you ever found yourself in a negative funk, feeling frustrated or overwhelmed and wanting to burn it all to the ground? Have you ever had a bad day where youfelt like staying in bed, binging on NETFLIX, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s?

Did you know when you watch 3 minutes of negative news inthe morning it increases your chance of having a bad day by 27%? (Source:Broadcasting Happiness)

Every 60 seconds you feel angry is a minute you steal away from your happiness. Negative energy is costing you happiness and forward momentum. We have all felt like crap, and had the feelings of being annoyed, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and the feeling everything is just going wrong. Most people do not have the resiliency to stop, detach, and to truly identify and address the cause and work through it. I am going to share with you the 3 causes of a bad day and give you 6 strategies to help you turn it around.

I would love to hear how you turn around a bad day, when youfeel like crap. How do you manage your thoughts and actions to get through the day? 

Here’s the deal, we all have days where we feel bad. For me,I know all too well the feelings of being angry, overwhelmed, frustrated, andwanting to throat punch everyone around me. I’ve felt overwhelmed, frustrated,angry and just felt like not showing up over the past week. I have had a couplesituations in my life to deal with in addition to all of the crazy things goingon in the world and I am feeling off. I find myself grumpy, standoffish,irritable, and just wanting to burn it all to the ground. I really dislike thisfeeling. The old me would distract myself with a NETFLIX binge or video games,numb myself with alcohol and eating, and avoid things that I knew I should be doing. This wasn’t good for me. It would seem to prolong the feelings and then I would just feel guilty for not doing what I was supposed to do, I would get even further behind on things. I would feel like shit for not taking care of my body and it seemed to make things worse despite the instant gratification. Also known as a downward spiral.

Tired of this cycle, I found is that there are ways to turnaround a bad day/day’s. I have been able to help others through strategies thatI am going to share with you today in how to make some improvement in thisarea. It is still an area which I am working on, but by employing these simple strategiesI have been able to make significant improvement and you will too.

When you have negative emotions, do not pretend it is somemystery that the feelings are just happenstance. When you have those negativefeelings, you feel like crap because it comes from three specific places:

1. Fatigue: You are not adequately restingand recharging the power plant which is your body and your mind. You aren’tsleeping well, you aren’t eating well and it’s now catching up with you. You mayhave been eating and drinking bad two days ago and it has finally caught up toyou. Maybe grinding through some days at work where you have been running andgunning, pushing through with caffeine and little sleep. Your body is saying,“Hey! Time out, let’s recharge!” You must stop and take care of your physical body. It’s a hangover effect from eating poorly, too much alcohol and caffeineand your body is feeling tired and lethargic. You have just broken the windowsin on your house. You have thrown in bags of garbage, set it on fire, and vandalized it. You have to repair it!  The mark of real maturity and consciousness is when you go into a situation of indulgence of poor eating and drinking, or a period of being sleep deprived, that you know can anticipate andnot be surprised when you begin to feel tired, lethargic, and in a foul mood.You must learn to anticipate how you are going to feel in the future based onthe actions of today. You need to know when you are at that level you can stop, detach, do an assessment of what is causing you to feel this way and takeaction steps to get back on track. When you are conscious of this ability toinventory and anticipate, you will begin to have less and less bad days.

2. Reaction: When you feel like you’re in a foul mood or upset, it is likely you are reacting tosomeone or something. Maybe someone was rude to you or made you feel upsetabout something. Maybe you are reacting to news, social media, a negative emailor response from someone or negative thought. Maybe you are reacting to thatjerk who cut you off in traffic this morning. When you feel like crap, stop,detach, and ask yourself: “What am I reacting too?” You are likely reacting tosomething subconsciously and are still tracking on what triggered you.Something that embarrassed you, the feeling of being behind and overwhelmed, anegative thought or comment. A way to inventory is to stop and journal yourthoughts of what has happened. Prompt: “What am I reacting to in such a waythat I feel this negative feeling?” Reaction often times comes from a place ofsadness. Something could have happened a few days ago but you were so busy, ithas taken a few days to process, and nowyou have time for the negative feelings that have set in.

3. Rumination:You have a negative emotion or experience and you spin it over and over againin your brain like a broken record. You keep thinking of it over and overagain. You feel doubt, upset, or unsure and you let those feelings stop you. Keepin mind that doubt, is just a signal to learn more, ask a question or toprepare. Many people become doubtful andget on a merry-go-round of “I’m insufficient, I’m not worthy, I’m not as goodor as intelligent as them”. The merry-go-round spins so many times that thedoubt turns into fear, which turns into self-disgust and then we make ourselvessick. Be thoughtful about what you are ruminatingon.
Here are five things I do when I feel bad…These aren’t mind blowing, complicated principles or strategies. They are simple and seem like common sense, however, common sense isn’t always common practice. The difficultyis to actually be mindful and take the action steps even when you don’t want to.

Here are 5 strategies to help overcome negative emotions:

1. Get Up and Move. Change your location and move your body and breath. Get up, go for a walk, exercise, go jump in a pool.Go do something outside your current space that moves your body and breath.Stand up, bounce in place with eyes closed with 10 deep breaths, reset your intention. By changing your environment and your physical state you begin tochange how you feel and your mindset. Often times, people want to stay in bed or sit on the couch and watch T.V. Get up, move your body.

2. Set Your Intention. Get back in command by setting your intention of who you want to be and thefeeling you want to have for the next hour. Focus on the next hour and dothings that take your mind off the negative and seek to gain a quick victory fora little bit of forward momentum. We aren’t trying to look long term and how you are going to achieve your life goals. We are just going to change the intention for an hour. So ask yourself: What would be a win I could get in the next hour? Maybe a couple simple wins? When you can gain a quick victory, it makes you feel like you are back in charge instead of focusing on your negative emotions.

3. Positive Audio in your Ear. Listen to apositive podcast, audio book, or positive music. Listening to something that motivates and inspires you, for example: Joe Rogan’s “Be the Hero of your Movie” on YouTube can lift you up and change your mindset. You could also watchsomething like America’s Got Talent or American Idol where there are manyinspiring “overcomer” stories. Grab a book from your bookshelf you have readand read something that inspires and motivates you. This is really goodstrategy for disrupting rumination.

4. Share yourvulnerability with a friend or significant other. Being able to talk to someoneyou love and get your feelings off your chest can really help you. You canstrategize ways to move forward and get some encouragement to get back on yourpath. If you are in a bad mood or in a funk over a period of days, you arelikely just off path and not in alignment with your purpose or congruent withyour mission. Connect with someone you love and care about.Simply say: “Hey I feel like crap, let’s go eat” or “Let’s go workout”. Spending time with someone you love and care about and talking through your problem cangive you some perspective.

5. Buy tickets. Find an event: a concert, a ball game, a festival, something to do within thenext 8 weekends and buy multiple tickets to take your significant other orfriends to the event. Buy tickets or make a solid plan to do something that youlook forward to doing. “Sometimes whenyou are down and out you have to get out and about.” –Brendan Burchard. This gives you a sense of optimism and gives yousomething to look forward to. When you go to the event you remove yourself fromyour element and you just feel amazing. Have you ever gone to a show and leftfeeling bad? No! You feel amazing, you just experienced something awesome.

Here are some common mistakes/negative coping mechanisms:
Avoidance: It makes sense to avoid a problem and seems to bring immediate relief, but it doesn’t help you solve the long-term problems and the negative feelings willreturn until you confront the issue. You will feel better when you confront the problem head-on or have the tough conversation rather than avoiding.

Compulsive shopping: People go on a shopping spree to make themselves feel good initially but cancreate feelings of guilt and financial stress. You get a hit of dopamine, butit can add stress in your life if you over do it.

Drinking: It helps to numb the emotion and feelings initially but then when you drink inexcess you feel worse physically and it acts a depressant.

Overeating: It feels good to eat and increases dopamine levels but when you are done eatingyou feel guilty and it is counterproductive to you overall well-being.

I hope this helps you and I would love to know what do youdo when you feel like crap? What actions do you take to push through and turnaround a bad day?

If you would like help on this topic or discuss ways toimprove your life, feel free to contact me for a consultation. I offer 1 on 1 strategy sessions and coaching and group coaching to help you live a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Remember, Happiness can only be found in the present moment.

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing…. Your freedom to how you respond to the situation. You can not control what happens in life, but you can ALWAYS control what you will FEEL and DO about what happens to you.” -Viktor Frankl

Here is a video on the topic: https://youtu.be/sldFLW7qUNQ

I hope this serves you. Do Hard Things!

-J